Every year since our miscarriage colleagues have got pregnant. I have had to smile and nod and comfort women who are crying because they have found out the sex of the baby and it's not what they wished for. I have had to listen to people moan about being pregnant because they're tired or because they're scared of being a mum. I understand this, everyone is entitled to an opinion and to feel however they wish.
I made it my job to ensure that everyone around me shared their emotions, I told all my team and colleagues about what I was going through. I still tell people that we're saving for IVF or our Christmas present to each other is IVF. I have found being open has allowed people to share their stories with me and this is always a comfort. I have learned how to evolve from a closed book that doesn't even tell people what I would like for my birthday to sharing my deepest secrets and actually telling people outright 'we want a child and we cannot do it naturally'.
Becoming incredibly open and sharing what my husband and I were going through allowed others to share their stories with us. But it has also allowed others to share their opinions and these opinions can be incredibly insensitive and ill-advised. And on top of that it has made me realise how insensitive people can be towards others. Saying things that they have not thought about and having conversations that completely exclude or upset me.
The way I have learned to deal with this is to surround myself in positivity. I am blunt with people now, if I don't want to spend time with others I say no, without any excuse or reason. No social events are incredibly difficult for me. So I don't bother. It has become worse living in Singapore because I had a small group of friends in Hong Kong that were incredibly kind, caring, considerate and just wonderful. Unfortunately in Singapore my journey has gone to another path and a path I feel very lonely on.
Luckily my husband is truly amazing. And my family are incredible even though they are over 6000 miles away. I have fabulous friends that are also very caring and thanks to technology I can rant and share with them and they are there for me no matter. So I have learned that I don't need friends nearby my friends and family are incredibly supportive and they are all I need at this time in my life.
I made it my job to ensure that everyone around me shared their emotions, I told all my team and colleagues about what I was going through. I still tell people that we're saving for IVF or our Christmas present to each other is IVF. I have found being open has allowed people to share their stories with me and this is always a comfort. I have learned how to evolve from a closed book that doesn't even tell people what I would like for my birthday to sharing my deepest secrets and actually telling people outright 'we want a child and we cannot do it naturally'.
Becoming incredibly open and sharing what my husband and I were going through allowed others to share their stories with us. But it has also allowed others to share their opinions and these opinions can be incredibly insensitive and ill-advised. And on top of that it has made me realise how insensitive people can be towards others. Saying things that they have not thought about and having conversations that completely exclude or upset me.
The way I have learned to deal with this is to surround myself in positivity. I am blunt with people now, if I don't want to spend time with others I say no, without any excuse or reason. No social events are incredibly difficult for me. So I don't bother. It has become worse living in Singapore because I had a small group of friends in Hong Kong that were incredibly kind, caring, considerate and just wonderful. Unfortunately in Singapore my journey has gone to another path and a path I feel very lonely on.
Luckily my husband is truly amazing. And my family are incredible even though they are over 6000 miles away. I have fabulous friends that are also very caring and thanks to technology I can rant and share with them and they are there for me no matter. So I have learned that I don't need friends nearby my friends and family are incredibly supportive and they are all I need at this time in my life.